Question Meme!

[doesnothappen]

Ned just had a Heart Game and Mau just accepted Legacy Hero status and apparently I haven't done this since August and I feel like it, so!

For Mau, Ned, Jill, Eliza's brother Nick and Chance. You know the drill.

Comments

[glorious]

Mau. ;;

Selenia is really glad that Mau was able to stay. He started getting worried when Mau was getting strange 'not memories' since that meant Mau likely had all his actual memories by then and was going to finish soon...which meant there was a high chance Mau was going to leave . But that didn't happen and Mau is staying for as long as he Sapphire needs him and Selenia feels as though Mau is still needed .

...There is some slight jealousy over Mau's window but he's making an effort to be reasonable since Mau earned that damn window. He'll probably get over it, or just use it as an incentive to not put off his own memories since he too could someday get a window.

How is Mau feeling about Selenia's "I feel like I have a chance, and I want it" comment? Since they butt heads on the points of chance and want a lot in the past.

[doesnothappen]

Pretty thrilled! He doesn't want to put too much weight on it in terms of predicting what Selenia will think about the subject three days from now, but he thinks it's a good sign. He thinks it's a sign of security that Selenia's able to acknowledge that he's taking a chance on something. In Mau's experience, if Selenia is feeling particularly insecure, he'll try to grab for control of anything possible, even miniscule things, and also will make even more ridiculous blanket statements than usual along the lines of "this is the way things are, this is the way they are going to go," when clearly he's just theorizing wildly and should accurately be saying, "I wonder if this is true, do you think we could steer things this way?"

In Mau's mind, this is what Selenia's opinion that if you are offered a 100% chance of death and a 50% chance of death, you should take the 100% boils down to: he doesn't really want the 50% chance of life anyway, and even if he did, it's outweighed by his huge fear of uncertainty. So to him, Selenia saying "I have a chance, and I want it," either means that he wants something (something positive, something belonging to life, something that isn't murder or suicide) enough that it's outweighing his fear, or that he's gained enough general security in his status in the world/team/his own mind that the fear has lightened in proportion to the want, or both. Either way, that's a good thing!

And yeah, I mean, really one of the huge things that Mau hopes for Selenia is that he'll be able to want things in the world even if he can't control them, and will be confident enough to seek them out (and stable enough to accept it and move on and try again if he can't have them after all but you know, Mau is a dreamer) so. HE HOPES THAT IS WHAT IS BEGINNING TO GO ON HERE he hopes Selenia will be happy '-'

NOW TELL ME WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON WITH ALL THAT.

[glorious]

Interesting that you should mention security cause that is actually what it kind of boils down to. Selenia pretty much entered the ring with the whole disorienting amnesia thing that is frightfully common in these parts and was uncertain to begin with, and then he was surrounded by people giving him these horrified looks and then MORE THAN ONE PERSON felt the need to grab him and hurry him off to Sapphire for his own safety, and all he was able to gather was that apparently he did something terrible and people wanted revenge for it. He also regained memories of being alone or being ostracized fairly early on while he was making various missteps with the Tales of cast and generally just...felt as though his 'second chance' could be taken away at any instant. So he's pretty insecure most of the time and feels as though he could be abandoned at any moment (which results in wonderful things like "I'LL BURN ALL MY BRIDGES BECAUSE THEY'RE INEVITABLY GOING TO BE BURNED AND I WANT TO BE THE ONE HOLDING THE MATCHES").

However, Pandora's game calmed down his intense paranoia of THEY'LL SLAUGHTER SAPPHIRE TO GET REVENGE FROM ME since...Sapphire was obviously not slaughtered, and while he can still twist it to "Well, they just liked my teammates more than they hate me" that's still an acknowledgement that people don't hate him that much.

He's also got some off-team CR that's helping give him purpose in the form of Echo and...Jabberwock. He and Echo had a thread a long while back about how they both had purposes they no longer wanted, and they kind of both talked each other into working together to make Aather a place where people can find their own purposes. Oftentimes Selenia doubts this ideal, but he feels that Echo's well-being is hinging on that ideal being a real possibility so he has to talk about it in ways to make her believe it's an achievable goal and sometimes he manages to convince himself with it when he does. And right now he's helping Echo with a major quest/heart game run to help her deal with Zwei so he has to talk himself into a "Yes, something can be done" state in order to...get stuff done and set aside his own pessimism.

...Then there's Jabberwock, who so far has been the one person that Selenia looked at and went "THIS IS SOMEONE LIKE ME", in the sense that Jabberwock is a currently homeless creature with a moral code that is very different from 'the norm', it doesn't seem to always understand things (as Jabberwock actually admitted it didn't understand why someone would self-sacrifice for all of two comments), and it seems to get confused whenever someone does something nice for it or just show interest in its well-being. So Selenia has decided he will be its friend because he can't really see a scenario in which being friendly would somehow make it more murderous.

So yes! It does play into security, in that a lot of different events have led up to him feeling that he both a) has a place in the world and b) can also make a new place for himself and others, if he just kept going for it.

I don't know if you talked about it someplace else, but I know Jill and Amethyst got hit hard during Pandora's game and also talked with Edmund about how weird it was to have adults want to protect you from harm, so I'm curious about how that might've affected her overall view of trauma games. :O

[doesnothappen]

Jill's view of trauma games is and has always been that they're terrible and shouldn't be allowed and she honestly hasn't really thought about them beyond that. Jill is bright and a quick thinker, but she doesn't tend to examine her own thinking or have deeply thought through opinions on... anything... unless someone actually asks her direct questions and keeps pursuing her to answer more fully. So it didn't have a lot of effect? TRAUMA GAMES ARE STUPID AND I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN WE HAVE TO HURT EACH OTHER :U an essay by Jill Pole the end.

How's Saya doin?

[glorious]

Jill Pole writes the most concise essays, well done.

Saya recently learned that if there is a machine in your teammate's heart, breaking it up is probably not the wisest idea. This is a lesson she has learned the hard way as Azure is currently hurting because she managed to unwittingly destroy his one coping mechanism. And before that, Swift died in Pan's game and was arguing to take another injury since he felt so sure he was going to die, and Saya heard of that second-hand and she still feels guilty for not being there. So she's feeling a little like she's failing her team and is trying harder to make up for it, with slimy hugs and palpable cooking and maybe locking them all inside the cabin one day.

What kind of music do you associate with your characters, if you play music associations with them?

[doesnothappen]

Well I made a Mau FST once, which is here!

But I really associate Mau with the Arcade Fire a lot for some reason (all his keywords are their song lyrics) I DON'T KNOW I JUST THINK THEIR SOUND SUITS HIS STORY AND PERSONALITY.

And I don't really have any for Jill, but for Ned You Told The Drunks I Knew Karate is perfect and so I tend to associate all Zoe Van Goey songs with him.

Reverse?